Looking Back on the Last 12 Months of My Life

Nov 10, 2019

The last 12 months have been unbelievably life-changing. In just over 300 days, I’ve learned more than I have in the last 24 years. I feel smarter, stronger, and overall, more self aware. And the craziest part is that I didn’t realize how much I’ve grown until I look back at one of the lowest moments of my life. 

To most people who know me, my life probably doesn’t look much different on the outside. I didn’t go through this crazy hair-cutting phase or pack up and move across the world. This change, however, has been completely internal. I’ve become more comfortable in my craft. Gained confidence in my work space. And allowed myself to tread into new territory that had made me quite uncomfortable. But none of this would’ve happened if I didn’t experience this extremely dark moment of being completely lost. 

The transition from a student to a working adult is a change that not many people talk about. And I think it’s because it’s the farthest thing from glamourous. For me, it’s been a roller coaster, and I’m ready to open up about it. 

My blog will be my outlet – a glimpse of the many lows, but even more highs. While I’m documenting some of the most important points in my life, I also want each post to be a reminder that it’s completely okay to not know what the hell is going on. 

So, if you want to see how things seemingly fell into place, keep reading. 

Graduating.

Early December 2018, I finally got that piece of paper that confirms I’m kinda smart. I got my master’s degree in multimedia journalism and finally left Syracuse, New York after an 18-month program. 

I went to grad school before my bachelor’s degree even came in the mail, so I never took the time to breathe and realize how big of an accomplishment the last five years were for me – the girl who didn’t even know how she’d pay for her first semester of undergrad. 

Since graduating, life moved pretty fast. I got rejections and offers from a few jobs, but eventually chose one that isn’t even in “my field of work.” Colleagues, friends, professors, and family asked me the same question in different words: So you aren’t going to be a journalist?

The answer is, idk. 

Right now, I don’t have a traditional job as a journalist. But that doesn’t mean I’m not writing, researching, and talking to new people for story ideas every day. I’ve accepted my transition into a new phase of life, and that the dreams I always had for myself may not be what’s meant for me. And while this might seem … sad, it leads me to my next point. 

Moving and my new job.

Part of growing up is realizing you don’t have complete control over your life. If you’re too focused on getting to one goal one way, you close yourself off to opportunities you never knew existed. 

A few days after graduating, I was offered a job at a creative agency. I knew I’d still be doing everything I love: writing, editing, social media production, while also working with a team of designers, developers, and other talented people I could learn from every day. After meeting my coworkers during my second interview, taking this offer was a no-brainer. It just felt right. But I still felt a little guilty. 

By not taking a job in journalism, I started questioning my college major. Do I regret it? And if I don’t, why do I feel like I gave up on a dream?

There’s no simple answer, and honestly, I still find myself asking this question fairly often. I will say that I had no choice but to go along with this unexpected transition. And while it’s been a little chaotic, I’m happy. That’s because I’ve realized what my happy place is: my own personal space where I can create whatever the hell I want. Whether that’s at my new job, or my bedroom writing this blog post.

And now, we can move on. 

Relaunching my blog.

Two years ago, I first launched my blog to express my views on the beauty industry and its inclusion of primarily black women. As a teen, I saw the misrepresentation of certain women in media, which is what inspired me to be a writer for a women’s magazine. This is still a passion of mine, but I want to take a different approach. 

I felt myself focusing on the publications and brands that weren’t inclusive, which made every post revolve around a negative. I want to change this up. Instead of exposing brands that aren’t doing it right, I’ll put more energy into promoting minority-owned companies that deserve recognition. And these companies won’t only be in the beauty space. 

That’s why I expanded my blog beyond beauty. If I’m being honest, my “beauty” routine only takes up about 5% of my day. The rest of it is busting my ass at work, maintaining healthy relationships, and keeping my mind and body healthy. And it has been a STRUGGLE. But… I’ve managed to make it through. And that’s why this blog is full of raw, personal stories and a ton of tips that make my life easier. 

The now.

Things have changed and will continue to change. Once I let go of crazy expectations, I start to relax. Accept what comes to me. Take chances when something feels different, but right. Because in order to grow, I have to switch it up. And trust me, a switch up feels good.

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